Someone said that the more things change the more they stay the same. I find that kind of thinking rather confusing; however, let’s take a look at it. While things may seem like they are changing the status quo is holding the reins and everything continues. I think that the only way that real change happens is if a person has the guts to strike out on their own. Yes, intestinal fortitude is the ticket. If its there then it gets used. But if it isn’t there then the same old thing happens over and over.
While the safe harbors of life are many it takes guts to make a change. One husband or another hated the word change. I suppose it was threatening to wander into something different. It probably was easier to keep to the routine of life set by the daily ticking clock. It is comfortable to know that at a certain time the bells will ring and everything moves in a different way. I remember high school as a series of bells and buzzers that everyone waited for in anticipation of bolting out of the room to escape the dull droning of a teacher. The first few weeks of school were always frightening making a way to the next class unknown what will be there. However, after a few weeks it was routine and comfortable to sit in the same seat, look out the same window, see the same students.
It is easy to sink into comfortable. Here’s my chair in front of the computer. The desk where the computer sits has traveled many miles with me. The contents of the drawers hasn’t changed much in the 30 plus years either. The bottom right hand drawer contains past writing. Next toward the top is a drawer of maps, then yearly date books. Finally at the top is a drawer for Max to sit in that has some miscellaneous cards and paper. On the other side the top drawer is miscellaneous stuff, then telephone books, odd and ends writing paper and finally the bottom drawer I haven’t opened in years. One of these days I’ll check to see exactly what is in that bottom drawer; however for now it is a very comfortable feeling to know that this desk holds the important bits and pieces of my life.
The top of the desk is a bit rough so I got a piece of glass from the back window of a Volkswagen. And under the glass are photographs of my sons, favorite pets, places, a US Bicentennial 13 cent stamp, things of comfort. In the many moves some of the photographs have been wet and aren’t as they were originally, but they are in the same places that they have been for over 30 years.
Every time I have moved I have left the contents, more or less, in the same drawers. It is a constant to know exactly where the things are in these drawers. It is comfortable to know that these things are here where I have put them. While it may seem rather disorganized the desk is within my comfort zone. It goes where I go, or at least for now.
While things have changed they have remained the same. In order to move out of the comfort zone it takes more than guts. Out of the comfort zone requires pushing the envelope. It is an exercise in launching into the unknown no matter what happens. There are no guarantees. The unknown is something out there left to each and everyone. It is up to the individual to take that step outside of the cozy, warm, same old routine.
I have no idea how many times I moved on plain guts. I have moved into an area without a job, basic services and hardly knew the roads. I’ve picked up and made the change. I’ve slept on the floors of a new place until I could figure out how to find a bed. I’ve hit the ground running to find a job to bring in enough money to support myself and my sons. I’ve faced some pretty stiff opposition.
My friend, Anna DeGuzman, said to me once as she hugged me good bye that I had more guts than I should possess. Then she told me that she wished she could do the same thing but was afraid. It isn’t the first time that someone has said that to me. And so it is that I said that this was the last move, but perhaps it isn’t. It may be that I have become too comfortable and need to shake it up again. As the seasons change they bring the urge to move again. I don’t know if it is the nomadic blood in my veins or the opportunity to face change again. What I do know is that I still have plenty of guts to make a change. While some people are unable to change I welcome the challenge to march to the beat of a different drum!
And so it goes…
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