It’s on floor…

There are days when it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed because it is a downward movement. I know that there are other people who know what I mean. It seems like everything is in a downward spiral movement. The floor becomes the enemy as everything seems to land down there. The worst part is getting it back up to where it belongs. I’ve found that the methods are as varied as the item that has fallen. Therefore, no one particular method works all of the time and most require seeking, bending and stretching. Today was one of those days.

First, the alarm clock fell onto the floor beside the bed. Now this wouldn’t have been a big thing to worry about because I rarely use the thing; however, today it decided to not only take up residence on the floor, but send a resounding alarm sound through the air at 4 a.m. Usually the things that are on the side of the bed fall within reach without getting out of bed. This morning that was not the case. The stupid alarm continued to scream out its warning somewhere out of reach which meant I had to get out of bed and seek something long enough to find the incessant noise. Now anyone who is awakened under these circumstances realizes that sitting and getting out of bed triggers other side effects. Therefore, a trip to the bathroom was in order while the alarm continued to signal its warning. Yes, I know it is morning damn it! The second thing that happens of course is that the girls have to go outside and are standing at the door patiently waiting for me to silence the noise. The choice is to take the girls out and hope the thing quits or seek the clock, then get the girls out. Since everyone was awake I chose to let the alarm continue and it did. The temperature outside was a brisk 40 something this morning but it didn’t matter as I was away from the alarm clock. The girls completed their constitutional and back in the house we went. The clock was not screaming. Perhaps it ran out of whatever runs the thing. It didn’t matter, I still had to find it and return it to its post. So down on my knees to seek where it had decided to fall. Then with the thing in hand I put it back with a thump. Awake it seemed rather silly to go back to bed, but that is exactly what I did. I figured I had a couple of hours to contemplate the inside of my eyelids. Apparently the girls felt the same way as they jumped back up on the bed into their favorite positions. And all was quiet for the next two hours.

Next, April sang out and the morning officially began. Almost everything I touched landed on the floor or ground. I sang out with the radio and danced through the barns returning what I could to their proper places. The bending was at first a bit much for my back; however, as I began to be used to the whole idea I felt incredibly better. I continued through the chores with a few words that turned the air a bright hue. It didn’t matter because the animals aren’t interested in what falls down, if it is edible they pursue it. If it is something that they can’t eat they will investigate, push it around and take turns keeping it out of my reach. The scoop seemed to fall into this category during the feeding. I finally gave it to the ewes and later was able to collect it as they had decided it wasn’t worthy of any more attention. However, it was a trip to the ground, bending and scraping to achieve the goal.

Then I figured the day was going to be one of those so I let it happen. The spatula on the stove almost made it to the floor. I told the stupid thing it had missed its opportunity because I caught it before it could be successful. I know I was talking to the spatula. I spoke to the tea cup, tea bag and anything else that thought it could try a swan dive to the floor. I suppose if someone was listening they would have wanted to lock me up; however, I’m afraid that there are other people that do the same thing. Breakfast was over and then Sarah decided to be lovey as she curled up on the table to see how many things she could successfully get on the floor. I saw her and caught a couple textbooks, my calendar and sunglasses before they hit the floor. But she did get a roll of packing tape, the car keys and a couple binder clips onto the floor. She sat up with a look of accomplishment and without another action on her part got down to find something with which to play in her box. Again, it was time to bend, scrape and retrieve.

It is no wonder that people employ long sticks or gadgets with vise-like attachments. There are only so many bends available during the day. Then it is a question of whether or not the item is really worthy of returning to its original place. In addition, can I get through the only room in which I live without falling on the debris on the floor? I could just shove it to one side with my foot and thus make a safe pathway to traverse the living space. Or I might be able to push it into a container of some sort and then lift the container to sort out what is important to keep or toss. I reflected this morning about what the future house was supposed to look like. When I was younger there were drawings of houses that would wash themselves inside and out in magazines. Houses were going to evolve into something that didn’t need a whole lot of human interaction. I know somewhere someone is still working on this for everyone, but it can’t come soon enough. It would be wonderful if there were a house that can pick everything up off the floor and replace it where it belongs. And they could start with that damn alarm clock that began my day!


Beauty eating her breakfast while giving me the ‘eye’.
And so it goes…
Copyright © 2011

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